When did Emotional Health Care, and Being Happy, become a Luxury?

I was recently having a conversation with an owner of a local retail outlet about how business was going in the current economic climate.

She said that people see the services I offer as a luxury.

I was stunned to say the least!

I do understand the rising cost of living, I have a mortgage too, and a business that has operated during the craziness of the last 2 1/2 years.  This quite often meant living on next to nothing.

I was curious about why they thought that therapy, coaching and good emotional health was a luxury.

Do people really think that taking care of themselves, healing mentally and emotionally, and seeing a coach or therapist is a luxury? Is being happy unaffordable?
Why do people think a material item isn’t a luxury, but emotional wellbeing and happiness is?

I thought of the people who have had a free session with me, and then said they can’t afford to book in – even though they really wanted to.

Often these people instead go and purchase a new car, book a holiday, do some expensive renovations, or buy something that costs more than my sessions would have.  Some resort to alcohol or drugs, online shopping, over-eating or other unhealthy options that all cost money, smaller amounts that add up over time to more than therapy would have cost.

They look for the quick fix that gives them short term relief from the whatever they are struggling with.

These things, while they may be fun and enjoyable for a short time, are an escape, but the problem with this is that these things don’t address the root cause, it’s still buried there in the unconscious, and it comes back to bite them repeatedly until it’s addressed with a good coach or therapist.

I am not saying that they are wrong to do this, it’s their values and their choice.

What they are purchasing is more important to them than therapy or healing.


Or maybe, these purchases are a distraction from the actual problem and seen as an easier quick fix.  They find happiness in their purchases in the short term.

Personal growth and physical and emotional health are high on my list of values.  They are really important to me and where I spend a good portion of my money.  My car is 15 years old, but it gets me from A to B and is reliable.  Having cash available for healing and personal growth is more important to me than a t new car – as nice as that would be. I no longer say I can’t afford a new car; I say, I’m choosing not to buy a new car at the moment.

Our Unconscious Mind

Another reason for the “I can’t afford it” belief is that our unconscious mind likes the familiar, even if it isn’t great, so it will find reasons and ways to hang onto a problem.

Your unconscious mind doesn’t want to step out of your comfort zone, it’s too scary and the familiar is safer.

Your unconscious mind will tell you that you can’t afford it, rather than helping you find a way, so you can stay where you are because it feels safe and familiar.

When we say we can’t afford something, we are creating the situation of not being able to afford it. We stop looking for ways we can. We are telling the universe we don’t have the money, instead of asking how we can afford it and maybe coming up with a way.  The Universe will always agree with you.  If you say you can’t afford it, guess what!!

Maybe what we could be saying is,

  • how can I afford to take care of myself and improve my emotional wellbeing?
  • how can I afford the services of a professional who will help me be the best version of me?

Most of us, faced with a loved one who needed lifesaving medical intervention, that came with a financial cost, would find the money to help them.  So why don’t people find the money to take care of themselves?

Several years ago, I had a client who was on a single parent pension.  This person was so determined to be a better version of herself, that she setup a payment plan and paid it off with fortnightly payments.  If someone on a Single Parent Pension can find a way to work with a coach, anyone can.

Just over six years ago I enquired about NLP training.  When I found out the cost, I didn’t have the money.  I was offered a payment plan that was still unaffordable for me.  I was then offered a different plan, smaller payments, and a longer time to pay. And that plan I was able to do, on a VERY tight budget.  If the training was not important to me, I would have held with the belief that I couldn’t afford it, but because it was something I knew I had to do, I found a way. Am I glad that I found a way to do this life changing training, – you bet I am!

My trainer, Cherry Farrow from Successful Minds Institute, recently posted this on social media –

“The Classic Three….
Have you said or heard one of these beauties!

  1. “I don’t have the time….”
  2. “I don’t have the money….”
  3. “I’m too busy….”

These 3 sayings have stolen more dreams from people than anything else!

The truth is everyone can make time for something if they really want too, everyone can find the money if they really want something & nobody is too busy for something that can potentially change their life!

With anything in life, instead of saying “I can’t afford it, or I don’t have time”, ask yourself “How can I afford it or make time?” and then notice what happens.

I’ll leave you with a question to ponder.

Is being happy and having good emotional health a luxury – or – is it something worth finding the time and money for?